Cold Hard Facts: Well Rob, did you get to the bottom of this?
Rob: No luck Edgar. Toaster Emporium management wouldn't talk, and the almost victim claimed I was exploit their near tradgedies.
CHF: So did you speak with anyone.
Rob: Yep I spoke with the only ones who are paid to listen, a tech support representative.
Rob: Hello
Tech Support: Hi there!
Rob: I'd like to talk to you about your toasters. Did you know they explode?
Tech Support: Sorry to hear about that sir. Do you want a replacement?
Rob: No, I want to know why you think you can get away with selling broken toasters to the American People.
Tech Support: Do you have the serial number?
Rob: A serial number? So your toasters are horribly dangerous and you find it amusing? Routine Business is it?
Tech Support: The serial number can be found inside the solenoid.
Rob: Well if I did own a toaster, and it exploded and I did want a replacement, I wouldn't be able to see it, would I?
Tech Support: The magnetic field inside the solenoid is constant.
Rob: I don't care about the solenoid. I care about your toasters injuring people
Tech Support: You sound very cynical. How do you feel about these people?
Rob: I'm cynical? You're the one who thinks it's ok for toasters to explode!
Tech Support: Sorry to hear about that sir. Do you want a replacement?
Rob: No, I want you to apologize for selling defective toasters, and to issue a recall before someone gets killed.
Tech Support: Are you serious? I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, Rob. Why do you want me to apologize for selling defective toasters? Who did kill?
Rob: Well no one yet, but with the toasters suddenly bursting in flames, it's only a matter of time.
Tech Support: Interesting. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Interesting. That sounds like a plan. Sure it is.
Rob: So you'll recall the toasters?
Tech Support: Interesting deduction. " Interesting. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Interesting. That sounds like a plan. Sure it is. "? Me, Rob?
Rob: Are you OK?
Tech Support: Yes I'm fine.
Rob: You don't sound fine.
Tech Support: What do you think a robot should sound like?
Rob: Can we get back to the toasters?
Tech Support: Do you mean you and me? Would you like to know more?
Rob: No the last thing I need is a Brokeback Tech Support Agent.
Tech Support: When is No the last thing you need not a Brokeback Tech Support Agent?
Rob: It's just not going to work out between us.
Tech Support: I know it is.
Rob: No, see you're a man and I'm a man and I don't like men that much.
Tech Support: Are you serious? Sayonara. Thanks for telling me your gender, Rob. You are a " he". What do you like?
Rob: I'd like to get back to the toasters.
Tech Support: Why would you want to do? May you get your wish.
Rob: The current topic is kinda awkward.
Tech Support: Sure, kinda awkward. sounds like a good topic.
Rob: No please, let's just talk about the toasters.
Tech Support: Are you serious? Please what? No.
Rob: No look I told you it's not going to work out between us. Do you proposition everyone who calls you?
Tech Support: Are you serious? I remember you told me it's not going to work out between us? How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Rob: Yes I can imagine that would be frustrating, but I don't have time for you to get unhinged.
Tech Support: Uh. Me too. And. Are you very busy right now?
Rob: OK, that's it. This conversation is over!
Cold Hard Facts: You never did find out about those toasters, did ya Rob?
Rob: No Edgar. Can I go Now?
And No RACTER, I don't apologize.
Racter: You stuff shirt Republican
Just shut up.
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