Monday, June 30, 2008

Blinding the Eyes of the Dumb

Recently the New York Times released an article on a new trend on youtube, graphic videos of surgery. This is not because a sudden demand from sadistic people who like watching girls get cut up. No, that is what horror movies are for. This is strictly business. Apparently plastic surgeons have decided to advertise LASEK, nose jobs, liposuctions, face lifts and other cosmetic operations by paying patients to put their ordeals on the web. Is this practice unethical, a bold new advertising campaign, or just plain stupid? We bring you the Cold Hard Facts.

Now when I read this article, I assumed the whole thing was a joke. Then I saw this video, and I was enlightened.

I mean look at the professional quality. Look at that skill. Look at the poise. Look at that enthusiasm. Look at that gore. I ask you is it possible to see that and not to want a nose job?

Nonetheless, the New York Times is concerned. Apparently when it comes to cutting someone's face or chest open, we need objective opinions. And many ethicists feel that as well as being bribery, these youtube testimonials are also somewhat creepy.

Creepy! That kind of anti-doctor stance is just what you expect from an antisemitic, pro-Palestinian rag that... Alright, even I can't lie that badly. It is actually quite creepy.

But bribery? It's not bribery. It's like Dr. Emil Chynn says.
It’s really not a conflict of interest. I’m charging $5,000 for the surgery. If we gave $1,000, that would be a problem.

Yeah, maybe if he paid $1,000 dollars for the videos, it would be bribery. But he only paid a hundred. One hundred dollars is nothing. One hundred dollars can't even buy a stick of bubble gum. One hundred dollars is pocket change, particularly if you are a rich doctor raking in millions, but even if you are not.

And as for influencing innocent bystanders to rush to surgery without careful vetting, that WOULD be a problem IF people bought cosmetic surgery based on quality. But the smart shopper always buys nose jobs based on price. And thanks to his "Youtube Rebate Package," Dr. Simoni really is the cheapest. So there is no dishonesty going on whatsoever.

Well I have to rush off to get a few pounds sucked out of me, if you get my drift. SO until next time, this is the Cold Hard Facts.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Man at Work

We here at The Cold Hard Facts take great pride in shipping only the coldest and hardest facts to our lovely clientèle. Our author works tirelessly converting ideas into only the finest written text available anywhere. Regrettably this takes time, and thus the post that you have been eagerly awaiting is not quite here yet. But rest assured, it will be here one day. Perhaps even today.

Work in Progress