Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Please be advised when applying solutions of Sodium hypochlorite to surfaces previously bathed in solutions of Ammonia. The resulting chloramine manufacture is somewhat undesirable.

In completely unrelated news, Pesach Cleaning is coming along nicely.

Also we still have absolutely no entries in our contest. Be sure to send in those emails.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Reason #28 for Choosing the Hard Sciences

We get better junkmail.

Look, it even has testimonials!

Feel free to prove your junkmail is cooler than mine in the THIRD Cold Hard Facts Contest. Owner of the best junkmail gets to write a blog post.

But, please gynocologists don't even bother sending in your junkmail. I do have some standards.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Face it You Lost

Recently there has been much uproar in Florida about an art exhibit of the Confederate Naval Emblem on a gallows, symbolizing lynching. The Sons of Confederate Veterans are outraged by the display, and are plotting to have it removed. And, the law is on their side, at least technically. In Florida, even though it is perfectly legal and constitutionally protected to burn, stomp on, graffiti, or otherwise desecrate the True Flag of the Country, if I lived in Florida, I would be breaking the law, as it is apparently illegal even to "cast contempt upon
the Confederate flag "by word or by act". Clearly this law is unconstitutional, and there is no way any court would send, artist, John Sims to jail, but the question remains why is the darn flag held in such high regard?

The Confederate flag is not the only Confederate relic some Southerners hold in high regard. Southern Generals are revered, to the point that the name Lee Jackson Smith, sounds almost normal. All across the South, Confederate History Month is officially proclaimed every April*. And Southerners insist on showing their love for the Confederacy in food and song**. Those brave Confederates and their great sacrifice to forge a new nation are honored above all else.

Well Southies, this may trouble you, but you didn't win the "War of Northern Aggression". No, you, what's the word I'm looking for, right LOST. You were defeated. Vanquished. Routed. Conquered. Put down. Crushed. Beaten. Slaughtered. So you really have nothing to feel proud about. You rebelled against your sovereign nation, over slavery ***, which you all say you hate, seized every US fort, took up arms against your own people, started a major war and you lost. You didn't even go down that bravely. So you have nothing to be proud of. NOTHING! You all are just a bunch of sore losers.

Furthermore, you people are such cowards that you won't admit you went to war for a stupid reason and lost. No, you make up excuses. It wasn't about slavery, you say. Either 2/3 or 70% or 90% or a whopping 98% of confederates didn't even own slaves. And that doesn't even include all the slaves who didn't own slaves.**** It's about States' Rights. And you really didn't want to start a war. The north forced you to fire on Fort Sumner. Or better yet, the North fired on their own fort, forcing, I suppose, PGT Beauregard, to try and defend it. All you're doing is honoring the brave soldiers, your proud forbearers, who took up arms to defend their homelands from a foreign invader. And you will honor their treason erm bravery for ever and ever. Oh, and all them Blacks can honor their ancestors in the Confederacy too. They just don't for some reason. Instead, of acknowledging the truth, and taking responsibility, you deny the meaning of the war, and you pretend the Confederacy and its flag has nothing to do with racism. For over 100 years, you have upheld myth of the Fallen South, instead of owning up to your problems. And, you have the gall to accuse us of "Racism" and "Offensiveness", whenever someone dares say you're wrong. I fail to see how that attitude is brave or rebellious in any way.

Well, in many other countries, waving the flag of a rebellion, would get you accused of treason and thrown in jail. In no other country, do governors, senators, army officers, and judges fly the flag of rebellion. Nowhere else do people venerate traitors and name forts and cities after them. Nowhere else, do states annually pass proclamations honoring thee contributions of said traitors. That is done only here. You of all peoples should be grateful you live in the United States, where we let you get away with this kind of behavior.

*Actually that a bad example, and not at all the Cold Hard Facts, because the Texas Senate has a reputation for passing any proclamation, no matter how stupid. But other states passed similar documents.
**Fine here
*** Ok fine, tariffs too. But, who starts a bloody war with hundreds of thousands of deaths over tariffs?
**** Of course every Southern Political Leader owned slaves, and nearly every man who could vote owned slaves, and most of the Confederate Officers owned slaves, and slavery was the only issue discussed leading up to the Civil War, but slavery had nothing to do with it. If most of the Confederates simply went along with their leaders, and did not believe their cause was just, how exactly did they "join the Confederate armed forces to defend their homes, their families, and their proud heritage as Southerners." If they had not blindly followed the slave-owners, their homes and families wouldn't be attacked.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Post Soon

Busy now. No time for Cold Hard Facts.

Monday, March 05, 2007

How many words for snow do you know?

Recently the Rutgers University Student Association drafted a new constitution. Fine, Good, Who Cares? Well normally nobody, but this is Rutgers, and so, naturally, such things are complicated affairs. Instead of just electing a college-wide body of representatives, under the new constitution we elect at least ten, one body for each of the four schools, which supposedly don't exist anymore, one body for Busch Campus which never was a school, but hey it can have a government too, one body each for the Business, Pharmacy, and Engineering Schools, cause G-d Forbid their members vote in one of the five other elections, and in addition, there is a provision in the constitution granting additional reps for cultural councils. Although the cultural councils are not specified in the 10 out 16 pages of the constitution dealing with voting procedure, there is a vague understanding that these cultural councils are specifically for Black and or Asian students. The result of this bureaucracy, is that I get only one vote, a vote for the Livingston Governing Board, and even though I am involved in both Chemistry and Judaism, those interests are not deemed important enough to give me votes. But a Chinese Engineer, or a Black Business student will get three, because they have three different interests on the board. While my engineering friends are overjoyed, I can't help but feel that I am getting gypped.

And so, after considering various options (Should the Chemistry Department secede, and form its own school. Should we blaackmail President McCormick into giving Jews two or three extra votes?), I decided that the best option would be to create a new cultural board, a board we can all be part of. And so with apologies to Inuit and Yupik, the Rutgers Residential Eskimo Governing Council was born. First I get a large group of people with similar interests to mine. Next, we band together in the Rutgers Residential Eskimo Governing Council, and pledge to vote as a block. Last, we get Eskimos recognized as a majority needing extra protection, and BANG, we all get extra votes. Sounds like a plan, right.

I already came up with some catchy slogans. Take a look.

"We use every part of the Walrus bu..." "Every part" "Yes, even that part, but we still only get one vote."

"It rankles my igloo."

"If we have to gulp down raw whale blubber, at least we should get fair representation"

So go ahead join the The Rutgers Residential Eskimo Governing Council— A Cynical Ploy to Garner an Extra Vote for the Rutgers Student Government, and make a positive impact on society. Only with your help, can we all cheat the system!