Dude last post was kinda a ripoff, so yeah

Urgent news breaking off Montauk, we bring you the Cold Hard Facts.

The US government wants to spend a measly 14 million dollars to build a rock wall around a beach to protect an old lighthouse. But wait, there's a horrible problem. Surfers are worried that this rock wall will destroy "The most awesome waves, man". But luckily they haveanother plan: why not spend just a little bit more money, and move the darn lighthouse somewhere else.

The Montauk Point lighthouse in Long Island was personally built by George Washington. But George made a major Gaffe. Instead of building it somewhere safe, like Kansas, he built it on a fast eroding cliff in Long Island. In the past hundred years resident have tried everything to save the lighthouse, even hiring the mafia to drain the Long Island Sound. Alas nothing worked. And now the lighthouse is about to be washed away.

But the Army Corp of Engineers has a plan. By building a giant wall, they can teporarily stop the cliff erosion. This will not only save the lighhouse, it will also save the "hallowed ground" it stands on. Sure a giant stone wall might ruin the view, but we can all live with that. The engineeers already spent millions of dollars studying the problem, and they know what's good for you. Besides the Corp of Engineers are experts at buiding waterproof retaining walls, dams, and levees, so we know nothing will go wrong.

But a group of surfers see it in a different light. Their illegal surfing spots are in danger, and we can't have that. The surfers have a powerful lobby and the have already bribed convinced serveral politians to see things their way. They wrote a 35 page report outlining their position, which I'm told still amounts to an to an impressive 15 pages even if you exclude all the "dude"s and "awesome"s. They point out several advatages to moving the lighthouse. It will look more scenic elsewhere. We moved other lighthouses before, and it worked out. Whereas the last time the engineers built a wall, it lasted about a year, and then it fell down.

Engineers counter that they have already run millions of dollars worth of simulations, in order to prove the proposed breakwater is absolutely no danger to any illegal surfing spots. They spent 25 years planning this walll. All the surfers ever did was host giant parties, and get real drunk. As for that 35 page report, it doesn't actually contain any evidence backing up the surfer's claims.

However when it all comes down to it, politicians are more likely to hang out with surfing babes, than with a bunch of boring scientists and engineers. I think we we can all count on them to make the cool choice. Surf's Up Dudes, at least until the police come.