An outrage to Greater Washingtonians everywhere

Recently the Greater Washington Transit Authority ran the following campaign.
The New York Times and these guys wrote articles implying the ads are insulting to Plato's Republic. But those guys are dead wrong. The ads aren't insulting to Romance Novels; they're insulting to Greater Washingtonians. And as a Greater Washingtonian, I am personally outraged.

Why is ad so insulting to us Greater Washingtonians you ask? Let me reveal the Cold Hard Facts. First off, the ad campaign implies that Greater Washingtonians aren't cool. While the "Average Subway reading" is a modern book. prehaps the latest in thing. The Greater Washingtonian is so uncool, he's reading Plato. Plato was written like 5 hundred years ago. It's hopelessly out of date. This ad is inmplying we're still stuck in Roman times, a gross slander.

Next, this ad is implying Greater Washintonians don't read. The "Average Reader" is cleaarly immersed in his engrossing book, probably part of a huge collection. But the "Greater Washingtonian" is reading Plato's Republic, one of those books no one would read if it was not on his high school reading list. And The poor guy is over forty years old, yet he only finishes his high school reading now? Is this implying that Greater Washingtonians can't make it through high school until we are 45? That's just too low.

You know what else? The ad is trying to strike a blow at our religion. The greater Washingtonian is reading a book by Plato , an immoral pagan. I don't know much about the other book, but I bet it has the words "Oh, God" in it a lot. This is implying that other cities are more religious and moral than we Greater Washingtonians. That, that is the most, unkindly cut of all. I'll you know Greater Washingtonians read a lot of regious books like trashy romance novels. Whatever company dared to say that about us, better take it all back now or there will be trouble. Mark my words we won't take religious slander lying down.

So clearly the ad is mocking us on all fronts. And I say as Greater Washingtonians, we can't take this lying down. We must unite. We stand together, Greater Washingtonians. And we demand an apology.