Friday, May 12, 2006

Ghosts: Part II — Ouija Boards

Ouija Boards: Everyone knows they can communicate with the dead. Well everyone except the few skeptics, who can never accept the normal explantion for everything. They seem to think the guy holding the ouija pointer is the one who moves it, but that is so rediculous we won't discuss it any further. To get back on topic, can Ouija boards summon demons or is talking to the dead just a bad idea. We bring you the Cold Hard Facts. Do to religious concerns I wouldn't actually use a Ouija board, so I found a transcribed conversation.

User: Oh great and powerful Ouija board of Oz, speak to me.
Ouija Board: O-K
User: You're actually revealing the letters paranormally? That's not my fingers moving the pointer over then correct letters subconciously or something stupid like that?
Ouija: N-O-O-F-C-O-U-R-S-E-N-O-T-!
User: Oh Good. So which spirt is talking to me?
Ouija: J-O-H-N-T-H-E-D-E-A-D-M-A-N
User: John the dead man, what's it like being a dead man?
Ouija: N-O-T-F-U-N
User: Will I ever get married?
Ouija: N-O-Y-O-U-A-R-E-A-L-O-S-E-R
User: I don't believe you. Show me proof.
Ouija: Y-O-U-A-R-E-T-A-L-K-I-N-G-T-O-A-B-O-A-R-D-O-F-W-O-O-D-.
User: So?
Ouija: O-N-L-Y-L-O-S-E-R-S-U-S-E-O-U-I-J-A-B-O-A-R-D-S
User: Oh great Ouija Board, can you summon a demon?
Ouija: N-O
User: Please?
Ouija: N-O
User: Pretty Please?
Ouija: N-O
User: Pretty Please with a cherry on top?
Ouija: F-I-N-E-I-F-Y-O-U-I-N-S-I-S-T
Demon: Boo
User: Cool!
Ouija: G-E-T-A-L-I-F-E
Demon: Yes, get a life. Loser!

So the evidence is clearly inconclusive. Stay tuned for the exciting part three of our series, or get a life.


Anonymous said...

i just thought i would mench that ther are nat just a copple of sceptic THERE ARE MILLIONS . and how do u expect us to beleve u

notElon said...

I don't care if there are BILLIONS of you skeptics. There will always be one small voice who speaks the truth. I will not be silenced. And unlike you skeptics, I can spell correctly. The truth with come out.