Friday, June 01, 2007

Oh No! When will it end?

Just when I thought there might be a hint of good news on the spa front, I saw this. Yes the horrible spa industry has come out with a new form of torture, one worthy of the, now infamous, Guantanamo Bay Resort, Permanent make-up. Yes ladies, the Spa Cabal knows how obsessed you are with applying lipstick, rouge, and mascara, and, in its own sick, demented, way, it want to help. For a fee, the "Spa Renew," in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin will "delicately tattoo" blush to "to their facial area where they [women or possibly even men too!] normally wear make-up." And for extra, they will even permanently dye your lips a more vibrant shade of red. They will even anesthetize you, so you feel almost no pain. Afterwards you can have a "chemical peel", which they promise will be loads of fun.

Girls, I beg you, for your own good, do not buy their outrageous lies. I don't care how difficult it is to apply lipstick. I don't care how appealing chemical peels sound. You must stand firm. We will not not sit idly by, while people inject us with strange poisons and call it relaxing. We will not allow these bastards to drown our sorrows in soothing goo. We will stand firm. We will... Hey wait! Where are you going? Get away from those telephones. I'm serious here!

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