Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Horror!!! The Horror

Well it had to happen sometime. The spa epidemic has successfully jumped the species barrier to dog, cat, budgie, and possibly even goldfish. That's right. Spas are no longer for humans only. Now a new service, which appears to have been spawned in an unholy union of spa and bookmobile, will pamper your pets with a "luxurious hydrosurge therapeutic bath". Worse the "Spamobile" was started by the head of K-Mart, and rumor has it that its Blue-Light Specials are irresistible. In an attempt to find out why pets are being seduced by such a fiendish beast, we took to the streets. The results are not pleasant.

So Rex, what attracted you to this abomination. Was it the service or the Hydrosurge™?


Snowball as a cat, shouldn't you know better to be seduced by such a travesty?


Goldie, surely a smart, sensible fish like you would know better than this! Goldie? Goldie? Hello? Is there any life in this tank? Well FINE! Don't answer!

Apparently the whole plague can be laid at the feet of certain individuals: Stupid Pet Owners. I mean COME ON People! Why in heck do you think your cat even wants that manicure? Do you honestly think your dog needs that $500 aromatherapy? Do you have nothing better to do with your money than blow it on a STINKIN' GOLDFISH! You people make me sick!

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