Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The only Truth About UFOs

The last two post on this blog were quite clear, and not the least bit esoteric. So before any tragedies happen, I decided to post some that is actually true, and thus add to all the doublespeak problems. And what better historical fact to post about than UFO abductions?

This blog rigourously interviewed three actual UFOgist to learn something very important: if UFOs first landed in 1947, why has the earth been destroyed only 18 times. Here are their unedited replies:

Posted by Dr. R. Leo Sprinkle, Ph.D:
The earth has been destoyed [sic] 18 times? I semm [sic] to recall only 17. Where have I been all my life?!

Posted by Dr. David M. Jacobs, Ph.D:
Well it's kind of a tangled web. You see, on the one hand aliens have abducted thousands of losers, but on the other hand, they returned all the abductees with no lasting damage. And again on the first hand they also seem to breeding some kind of half human/half alien species but on the third hand they're not doing anything useful wih it. So I would guess that the aliens want to murder us already, but the buracracy on their homeworld has not processed their request yet. Of course what I really want to know is Who was the first alien abductee? If we know that we know everything.

Posted by Alan Watts, Ufologist
Ha! You just wait. According the crop circles, The Aliens will invade on July 9, 2006. But don't worry, I've been hoarding all kind of bombs, and guns, and flamethrowers, and tanks in my closet. So the aliens will find us prepared. Ha we'll teach them to leave us warning. WE'LL TEACH THEM!

So there you have it, The Cold Hard Facts on UFO abductions. Next time, the cold hard facts on why PV = -RTln (k)!

1 comment:

Eli said...

I am pretty sure there is no factorial in PV = -RTln (k)!
Although, perhaps that would explain certian UFO properties.