Where have you been?

Well it's been a long time and yes there were many interesting things to blog about, such as the guy who can turn earwax into gold, the guy holding himself hostage in Nebraska, and the three thugs who robbed a bank at gunpoint for a dollar to buy a cream soda from the machine across the street. But alas I couldn't blog any of it because I was in jail on murder charges, cellmate to a guy named Butch who said if I ever blogged the Cold Hard Facts of exactly where in New York his multimillion dollar stash of cocaine was, he'd knock out every last one of my teeth. He needn't have worried. I didn't have internet access in that jail anyway.

Why in the world did the police suspect me of murdering anyone? Well my lawyer says I can't talk about it, but now that I'm free and cleared of all charges, expect more of The Cold Hard Facts soon.