Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Is a career in golf right for you? Man, is it ever!

So I was minding my own business on Facebook when this popped up.

I mean, I wouldn't have thought so, but it worked okay for Tiger Woods. I certainly could use the Wheaties® Endorsement Fees. So let's do this. We're gonna do something different this time. I'm filling it out in real time, so you can all follow along with me, and then post your results in the comments box. Here it goes.


I tried to pick a good address, and Fairlawn was the most golfing related town I could think of.

Page One:

I wasn't really sure what to put here. I mean I have no idea if golfers are the type of people to be playing Quicken when they should be studying. But I think we all can agree Tiger Woods is an expert in Time Management, if you get my drift. Man those jokes write themselves.

Also, this is probably why analytical chemists are so juvenile. Those guys are bouncing off walls. I mean, grow up people! I suppose it is the sacrifice they have to make.

Page Two:

I'll be honest with you. This is entirely live. I was expecting questions about vision, coordination, and putting. I could never have hoped for this weird psychology mumbo-jumbo. Scout's Honor!

Page Three:

I sincerely hope that taskbar down there is not accurate. This is entirely tedious. At least Question 12 mentioned the word golf. Yeah, 15b was too much a stretch, even for me, right now.

Page Four:

More Golf. I assumed proper club usage is the priority over study habits. Then again, if you don't study, how will you remember which club to choose?
Page π:
This is taking way too long. I even forgot to bold half this pages. Well I'm going to keep slogging though. But you can scroll down and cut to the chase. Just don't tell me if passed. I want it to be a surprise.

Page 5:

Just going with As this time. Don't worry, there will be plenty of time for jokes later.

Page Six

I think we've had some of these before, no?


Isn't golf a solo sport? What's with all these "Pushes Others to Be Better" type questions? Is this an interview for golf players or parole officers?


I hope Google has enough room on its server for all these screen shots.

Page Arrgh!
Enough of this, I think. I saved all the pages on my drive. Send me an email if you want the rest. I might even crack a joke or two, if I'm feeling charitable.

One Hundred and twelve questions. I've had lab practicals shorter than that. Well let's see how I did.

I hate you.

This result was too good to pass up as an ending to the post. But I didn't want to leave you guys in suspense, so I got another fake email, and took the survey again.

Three Stars! Pretty good for the guy who always got picked last in gym class, eh? I dare you to do better. Here is the link. Apply now! Our operator is standing by!

ADDENDUM 2: Moot informs me that Page 3 is there twice, and Page 4 not at all. I checked my archive, and this is unfortunately because I accidentally took two screenshots of Page 3 and none of Page 4. You aren't missing much.


Eli said...

Wow, that's a lot of bizarre useless questions. I see you used the email that someone tried using for CC fraud, too!

the moot said...

I think that this questionnaire works just as well for the Free Teaching Career Test that was advertised before the Free Golf Career Test. In fact, I am visualizing the “mail merge” code that would generate a Free << Career Name>> Career Test for just about any “Career.”

btw, for page 4 you have question 11-15 listed a second time, and are missing questions 16-20. Not that it matters. But I get high scores on "Attention to Detail".

notElon said...

My original idea was to try to game the system, to figure out if there is any meaning behind the thing. I decided not to when some quick statistics calculations revealed that I would need thousands of random trials, as the test is too darn long. My gut feeling was that no matter what you put, you would always get a middling score, and it would urge you to apply. I can't prove it, though.

The teaching thing does ask about your undergrad GPA and experience working with kids, so I think there is at least a better chance that it is legit.

And good catch on page 4. I can fix that.

lollever said...
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yashmin said...
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