Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wasting Money Efficiently

I happened to find this elegant concrete doorstop for sale. The doorstop is so elegant in fact, that it costs thirty five hundred bucks.

Now if I were buying a doorstop for $3500, I would want it to send the message that I am so rich, I can blow thousands of dollars on a doorstop. For 3500 dollars, I would want a doorstop that screams this message, preferably something solid gold and diamond encrusted. Which is why I am puzzled and dismayed that this doorstop is basically a glorified cinderblock.

Sure it says it was molded in a one of a kind vase, that had to be smashed in order to produce this fine art. But my problem is that my neighbors may well not know this when they see it propping open my front door. G-d forbid, they might think that my doorstop is only 350 bucks. That and the fact that it would totally clash with all of the other solid gold, diamond encrusted tchotchkes in my house. So I clearly cannot get behind this doorstop, or so I thought.

But then I realized the real point to the doorstop. Notice that under the link to buy the ugly thing is a link to put in on your wedding registry. This is an opportunity waiting to be exploited. The practical jokes alone would be worth it. Can you imagine the shock when guests find out that you expect them to pay $3500 bucks on a piece of junk? Or just imagine the joy on Uncle Gene's face when he finds out that is the only item left to buy. Plus this thing is made of solid concrete and is probably quite clunky to carry, so even if guests could afford it, someone is going to have to lug it around. Won't that be fun?

So this is definitely a must-have item. Uncle Gene, you had better start saving up.

3 comments:

the moot said...

I think the doorstop is aiming for understated elegance. Or for sale to the US military (think how much damage this masterpiece could do if dropped into a cow pasture!)

Are the glass shards of the broken vase available for sale too? I could glue them back together and sell the finished piece for $5,000.

Katrine said...

Very entertaining! I read the post and only then followed the link to take a look at that glamorous doorstop. Even with the prior warning of something not too impressive, there is no way I could picture what I saw being sold for 35 grand.
But if they are selling this for such ridiculous price, perhaps it is sellable. Oh my, makes me want to get into doorstop business.

loose diamonds said...

I certainly like it, as it's really much better than at other sites