Wasting Money Efficiently

I happened to find this elegant concrete doorstop for sale. The doorstop is so elegant in fact, that it costs thirty five hundred bucks.

Now if I were buying a doorstop for $3500, I would want it to send the message that I am so rich, I can blow thousands of dollars on a doorstop. For 3500 dollars, I would want a doorstop that screams this message, preferably something solid gold and diamond encrusted. Which is why I am puzzled and dismayed that this doorstop is basically a glorified cinderblock.

Sure it says it was molded in a one of a kind vase, that had to be smashed in order to produce this fine art. But my problem is that my neighbors may well not know this when they see it propping open my front door. G-d forbid, they might think that my doorstop is only 350 bucks. That and the fact that it would totally clash with all of the other solid gold, diamond encrusted tchotchkes in my house. So I clearly cannot get behind this doorstop, or so I thought.

But then I realized the real point to the doorstop. Notice that under the link to buy the ugly thing is a link to put in on your wedding registry. This is an opportunity waiting to be exploited. The practical jokes alone would be worth it. Can you imagine the shock when guests find out that you expect them to pay $3500 bucks on a piece of junk? Or just imagine the joy on Uncle Gene's face when he finds out that is the only item left to buy. Plus this thing is made of solid concrete and is probably quite clunky to carry, so even if guests could afford it, someone is going to have to lug it around. Won't that be fun?

So this is definitely a must-have item. Uncle Gene, you had better start saving up.

Good-bye Shish, Hello Kufta

I read this great cliffhanger editorial in the Rutgers Targum, entitled Good-bye Peace, Hello Lieberman. How do I know it's got a cliffhanger ending? Neither peace nor Lieberman made it to the article.

I figure that the was writing on at full steam, and just before he got to the part about Joe or maybe Avigdor, BAM!, out of space. It happens. An honest mistake and nothing more. So I look forward to seeing Part 2. Because no Editorial Board is going to allow the passing slur on whichever, apparently warmongering, Lieberman the article was supposed to be about without a good explanation, right? Right? Right.



It might have occurred to you that an old headline was accidentally reused, perhaps from an editorial opposed to the war in Gaza or maybe Iraq. That occurred to me also, and a Google search shows it isn't the case.

Shylock would be proud.

Conclusive evidence that Jews control the world, or at least Wikipedia, which is practically the same thing.

And yes, still searching for that story interesting enough to sustain an actual post.

Be Very Afraid

Apparently is some kind of new Woman's Leadership Scholarship Program at Rutgers. This is their logo.



I'm not sure whether I should be more worried by the somewhat fascist imagery, or that, judging by the faint writing still visibly overlaid on the logo, said imagery appears to have been misappropriated from a stock art gallery.

Ten points to the person who finds the original. I believe that the writing is the remains of "istockphoto," but so far my search has been fruitless.

Another Major Victory in the War On Spas!

We can only speculate on how spas fit into this exactly, but seeing as that infamous word is right there in the title, I don't think that connection can be denied. And with all the recent setbacks, I am ready to jump on any victory we can find. Keep this up and we will win this war, one drug-dealing, violently bigoted, aromatherapist at a time.

PS:
I don't think this is the last we will hear from "Saratoga Springs" either. With a name like that, the place is a resort town waiting to open. That or a golf course. Either way, it is trouble.

Important Fish Spa Update

Now it has that romantic outlaw appeal.

A Spam, I Think

Time for the Quarterly Update for Halexandria... and only six days after the Equinox. But then again, Mercury is in Retrograde right now and communications are really in a mess. Among other things, some people on Wall Street have managed to misplace about $700 billion and can't seem to find it anywhere... except maybe in the coffers of the taxpayers. Sigh...

Meanwhile, we have not been derelict in our writings and still find our way to various new offerings at Halexandria. The Halexandria Forums, for example, continue to delight and amaze the unwary silver surfer. Many interesting threads to read and contribute to... maybe start your own thread on any topic under the Sun (and way beyond the Sun, come to think of it). Feel free to get involved.

As for new essays, these include some recent relevations about the incredible Labyrinth of Egypt and the People who are involved in hopefully bringing this stunning new discovery to the attention of the world. There is also the New and Improved essay on Totalitarianism... just in time for the upcoming elections. Come to think of it, there's also The Times They Are A Changin'... also with allusions to the elections and media weirdness in general.

All of these essays should intrigue most of you... except of course for aol.com users (who are now prevented from receiving updates from Halexandria... for no known reason). Accordingly, if your friends are (currently) aol.com users, you may have to forward this quarterly update to them so they can be similarly intrigued.

Last but not least is an update at Novels, due to the WORLD PREMIERE OF WE THE JURY, a novel.

As always, Thanks for the Use of the Hall.

Daniel

Gives you a lot to think about, no?

Disgusting Philosopical Problem of the Day

Apparently, there is a chef in Switzerland who has decided to add a new ingredient to his meat dishes, human milk. Big deal, you say? Well I didn't care much either, until I saw the following quote in the Guardian.

They are not on the list of approved species such as cows and sheep, but they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates," Rolf Etter of the Zurich food control laboratory said.

So do we go according to the beginning, and say approved milk, yes, banned milk, no. Or maybe we go according the end, and say what is banned is banned, but what is not banned is permitted?

Come hear, it was taught...

And what about those biologists that say humans are both apes and primates? Would they not hold that the milk should be forbidden on all accounts?

Career Opportunities

I've been thinking about the future a lot lately, and it only made sense to consider my career and what I can expect to earn for my efforts. Hmm, not bad. But how about this?. Much better. Maybe, I should try to broaden my horizons? Only if I want to be poorer than a postman.

Hmm, I wonder what else is open to a man of my talents*.



But that is just the beginning of this amazing tool. There are all sorts of great jobs that you didn't even know existed. In fact the job market is quite good, if you go about it the right way.
But what if you have no skills at all. What if you are destined to live in a box in the middle of Times Square? Is it still possible to send your kids to Yeshiva? Yes, but it's all about choosing the right title. And you thought they snorted because they were addicted to the stuff. Little did you know the surest path to riches.

And if you're a brainless git? Not to worry.

A fool and his money are soon joined.

Feel free to comment with any absurdities I may have missed.


With thanks to Not my Father for finding the site.
*Note to self: Avoid nanoshell scripting like the plague.

Awards

I'm pleased to annouce that this blog is finally getting the recognition it deserves. In the past several months I have received countless email recognizing the masterpiece that is this blog.

Oh I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "Who would possibly recognize this blog for anything." You're thinking "This blog hasn't even existed for the past few months. We all thought you were dead." You're are thinking "Ol' Edgar's making it all up." Well I'm not, and I ave the emails to prove it.

Edgar,

Your blog The Cold Hard Facts caught our attention. I'm the founder of a recently launched startup for bloggers. We are searching the internet for the world's best blogs by geography, and we found yours for Israel. I would like to invite you to our site which plots the content of the internet on an interactive map of the world. VerveEarth is an entirely new way to surf the net. It shows spatial and geographic connections that a blog search engine could never reveal.

The site is www.VerveEarth.com. Once on board, you can easily claim your blog a place in the VerveEarth world. The site is free to use and a way to drive new traffic to your blog. If our vision resonates with you, please give us a mention or add our widget to your blog. Please see our FAQ for any questions, and we welcome your feedback. The VerveEarth team will make a timely reply.

www.VerveEarth.com

Kind Regards,

Clayton

The best blog in all of Israel. Quite an honor for a humble Ramallan, no? And the best part is I beat my neighbor Abdul at his own game. You hear that, Abdul? No one cares about you and your depressing life.

But that is not the TRUE best part. All you loyal readers know that vintage car racing has always been the one joy in my heart. Well someone finally took notice of my interest.

Come join me on The Vintage Racing League.

Please excuse the nature of this invitation to join the Vintage Racing League.
You received this email because we believe that you love vintage and classic cars and would enjoy participating in the world’s largest online social network for people that love vintage and classic cars.
There is no cost to join and we do not disclose your contact information to third parties.
You can post pictures, videos, find Apparel, Parts & Services, join 200+ car marquee groups and locate Vintage Race events in your area.
Please invite your friends and fellow enthusiasts to join.

All the best - Stephen
Stephen J. L. Page
Chairman
The Vintage Racing League
Campbell Center 1
8350 N. Central Expressway, Suite 1500
Dallas, TX 75206
Work: 214-393-4662 x 224
Member website: www.myvrl.com
Business website: www.thevrl.com

Click here to join:
http://www.myvrl.com/?xgi=97OsuLC

Thanks,
Stephen Page

Well see you all later. My Bel Air and I have business to attend to.

The Perfect Gift

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I know this, because I received a lot of irate emails berating the lack of a gift guide. And so with the motto of better late than never, I present our top pick for guys, The Master Cleanse Guidebook, a book that will keep your girlfriend talking about you for a long time.

Everyone knows that diet books are second only to vacuum cleaners in terms of romance potential. Girls are always worrying about their figures, and this shows that you sympathize with her worries. She will definitely take note.And if you are going to get your girl a diet book, get this one. Because only this book contains the power of the Master Cleanse™.

I don't actually know what the Master Cleanse™ is, because the website is very vague and I am not enough of a loser to buy the book, but it is one of those magic food diets. Stick to the simple routine, and the pounds or kilos come flying off.

The diet consists of three simple parts. First, drink a quart of salt water every moning upon awakening. Next eat and drink nothing else but "Lemonade" made from fresh lemons, maple syrup, and savoury cayenne pepper. Drink 6-12 glasses of this concoction a day, and follow each glass with laxatives. Continue on this plan for about two weeks or until death does you part, whichever comes first. After that, eat only raw fruit and vegetables for two months. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Now, now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that this "diet" was invented during a game of Truth or Dare. That is not true. A lot of research went into this diet. It is all classified, but do you seriously think someone would just randomly recommend eating such weird food without a good reason? You can probably find the research in the book, which I was too cheap to buy. Maybe you can't. It doesn't matter anyway. The point is that this gets results.

So that's my suggestion. Wrap the book up in romantic wrapping paper. And have a camera ready for when she opens it. Trust me, this will be good. Oh, and don't forget to mention that you would take her to a fancy French restaurant, only they unfortunately do not serve lemons and maple syrup. Trust me, this will be a day to remember.

So kids, until next time, always choose Truth and always lie. But if you dare choose Dare, perhaps you will come up with the next health fad. And when you do, I will recommend it here.

Life After Death

A few weeks ago some friends and I got into a discussion of Facebook accounts, and one person wondered whether some smart alec created a profile for the Lubavitcher Rebbe. It seemed like a distinct possibility, and so I decided to find out. Alas the answer is no. Rav Menachem Mendel Schneerson is not on facebook.

But it did occur to me to see if other famous people did have accounts on Facebook. I first started with other great rabbis. I figured that if any rabbi would have a profile on facebook, it would have to be either Hillel or Rambam, as every school, camp, charity fund, or organization named after a rabbi, will invariably be named Hillel or Maimonides. No one is ever original enough to name something after the Ramah, for example. And so, the search began.

In addition to all the organizations and quotes from Guide to the Perlexed, Rambam has two profiles. The first is the only Jew in the Egypt network, and the second one is in Quebec, Canada, which I can only assume was his summer home. A search for Hillel only turned up the college organization, a Mr. Rutgers Hillel, and זכר למקדש כהללֹ— Korech Lovers Anonymous.

Moving on to secular figures, we find that Theodor Seuss Geisel, one of the greatest writers of all time has a rhyming facebook profile with less than two hundred different words, and William Shakepeare still lives on, but only in China. And though Dumas is no longer with us, his Comte de Montichristo has been busy. But Franz Kafka takes the literary cake, with 214 separate profiles. Bet you regret wanting to destroy your books now, eh Franz?

After literature, there was one thing I HAD to check. Joseph Stalin has a profile. Joe Stalin stole my blog avatar, and teaches at Villanova (You don't want to see his profile at ratemyprofessors. It's not pleasant). Iosef Stalin has two, and Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin also stole my picture, but at least he colorized it. Joseph Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili has 11 profiles. And it would seriously disturb you to learn how many girls call themselves Joan Stalin.

Chemists are behind in the fake profile game. Fritz Haber has only one profile, and it appears to be a LIVING Fritz Haber, not THE Haber. Kekule has none. The only famous chemist who does have a profile is Linus Pauling with 5. But mathematicians are rather better. 176 years after his fatal duel, Évariste Galois has finally graduated Princeton, Kansas City, and the University of Edinburgh. Hilbert, Godel, Lagrange and Laplace all have profile. And Fourier went to Rutgers.

Ignaz Semmelweis has a profile, as does Louis Pasteur. Lister does not, but I'm sure he'll have one shortly *cough*. Alexandre Yersin does not, but the disease named after him does. John Snow has a profile, and I had no idea that his work was an all too common last name.

I'm sure that many, many other famous people all have profiles, but I think this should be enough incentive for the Lubavitch to get a move on it.

"CLASSIFIED" or "Fun with Madlibs"

Warning: After writing the outline to this post. I was told that Jon Stewart had made the same joke and even referenced the same passage that I am about to reference. To that all I can see is that, "Great minds think alike." But I don't need other great minds to think for me.

Recently I started reading "Fair Game" by a former CIA agent. Before the book could be published, it had to be vetted by the CIA. And the CIA chose to classify about a quarter of the material, mostly in the first chapters of the book. Now I am all for keeping sensitive material out of enemy hands, but I must say that it does add a certain amount of humor to the book. I suppose I should expect it of those kwazy CIA agents. Remember when I posted their recruitment video that they had streamed through YOUtube, and the CIA responded by yanking the video off YOUtube and sent me a warning about revealing sensitive documents*£. Well this is not quite as good, but it is still pretty good.

First of let us examine the method used to classify things. Here we can see a page of text with gray bars covering some of the words.


Here we can see a page of gray bars with some text uncovered.


Here we can see an entire page full of nothing but gray bars. Wait a minute, look up there near the top of the page. Can you see it? They left two periods unclassified. Why the heck did they do that? Isn't it easier just to gray bar everything. They must have done it for a reason, because clearly those aren't the only periods. Presumably the rest of the page is not one giantm multi-paragraph, run-on sentence. Make that giant, multi-paragraph run-on word, as I see there is a single unclassified space as well. No, so why did they declassify only those punctuation marks? Perhaps those sentences are just not important enough to conceal where they end. Or perhaps just the opposite. Maybe those are only decoy periods to further obscure the truth. Or, quite possibly, the censor just missed them. We may never know.

Another weird thing about the censoring is the content that is censored. Sometimes there seems to be a completely innocuous passage, and then right there at the end, right when you are least expecting it, BAM gray bars. Like here.

I paid and walked out of her chic Red Bank apartment. CENSORED I called Joe from the Doctor's office. "Honey, the doctor says he hears two heartbeats–—We're having twins."

I suppose what the author couldn't say was that she discovered that chic Ob/Gyn really was a mole, but that the threat was now "neutralized".

Here's another example that is even weirder.

Because the babies still didn't suck very well, we were told not to use bottles, but rather a large syringe that essentially squirted the formula into their mouths. It felt a little like feeding a baby bird. Switching between breast and syringe feeding when they took only a few ounces at a time and capturing each detail in a notebook soon took its toll. I was exhausted CENSORED. Every baby book...

What is with the baby censorings? I mean I'm all for giving a mother her privacy, but I notice the CIA kinda came in too late for that. Besides censoring like that just makes the paragraph more conspicuous.

And here is perhaps the weirdest example of all. "Could I actually do xx job on a less-than full time basis?" Now, you can tell by the size of the gray box, that the censored word is very short, probably only two letters. And from the context it's clearly "My". But then why bother with the censoring? Even now that I know the full sentence reads, "Could I actually do MY job on a less-than full time basis," I am no more enlightened in matters of national security. And if that "My" DID say loads about the state of security in this country, I would hope they would guard it better. It took all off two seconds for me to figure out what it said. We can only hope such poorly guarded secrets never make it to the ears of Bin Laden. G-d only knows what he could do with with such information. Perhaps he is building a "My" bmb as we speak. Thanks a lot CIA.

Of course all the censoring just begs to be played as the ultimate mad lib. Take that first example. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out whether the missing words are nouns, verbs, or adjectives, so just guess some at random and enjoy. The only catch is that if you randomly guess correctly, you may get a call from men in black coats next week. Hey wait. Hey what's going on. Stop you can't do this. The truth will come out. Hey! Stop it! Put me down! You can't silence me. I'll tell everyfriend I know. In alphabetical order! AUGGGGGGGH!.

*Sorry the warning email was classified. I am not allowed to share it with you.
£By the way, in an effort to avoid more ridicule, the CIA pulled down all their recruitment pages, including their great Flash game, so if you didn't catch that post earlier, than it is just too bad.

Silken Petals

My aunt requested that I put up a picture of the card she made, and let you decide for yourselves rather than just call her crazed. So fine here it is.



You happy now, Auntie?

Losing in Style

Yesterday Rutgers lost a second football game, which means it is no longer a "Championship Team". Some people cling to the deluded hope that, perhaps, if Rutgers wins every other game, it can yet be decent. Poor souls. They are setting themselves up to be crushed by reality. But not me, for I have hope of another kind. Which is why I am cheering for the Orange Club, even though "Orange Club" is the sorriest excuse for a team name that I have ever heard. Because, if we cannot have a great football team, at least we should have a totally lousy football team.

President McCormick said last year that the Scarlet Knights have finally put the university on the map, that having a good football team has made us more esteemed. But all the really esteemed schools have sorry excuses for football teams. Look at Cornell. They are in the wimpiest division ever, and they still lost every game they played. Look at Princeton. They are so bad, they would lose to Cornell if they were man enough to play them. And Princeton is even more prestigious a school than Cornell. The list goes on and on. Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Penn, Caltech, MIT, Georgetown. Ye, to truly be "On the map," you need a lousy football team.

And if Rutgers doesn't blow it, that is exactly what will happen. If we want to be a "Harvard on the Raritan," we gotta play like a Harvard on the Raritan. We need to suck. Now is our chance. Last year we showed the world we were almost as good as Texas A&M. But who cares about being almost as good as Texas A&M, when you can be almost as bad as Harvard? Only then will Rutgers truly be Ivy League.

So Schiano, get out there and blow the game, and all the games afterwards. And Mike, you continue to throw those interceptions. And Ray, break a leg, literally. As for the rest of the team, you guys read up on the Black Sox. Make Cicotte* your role model. Together we can make a difference. GO ORANGES!

So let's hear it for Old Rutgers.
And hope their football team doth pan.
May they lose every single game.
May they head on home in shame,
To the banks of the old Raritan.

On the banks of the old Raritan, my friends,
where old Rutgers ever more shall stand,
For has she not stood since the time of the flood,
On the banks of the old Raritan.

*Yeah yeah, I know he was a baseball player. But that only means it would be even easier for him to lose a football game.

Building huts

You know what they say: "The huts have to go up. The blog doesn't have to be written." But I say it does, and so I wrote it.

Is Pop Culture Science

And if it is, Why the Hell Study this Garbage.

First you may be wondering why I hae not mentioned the religion class. Well it turns out that the religion class is more of a history course than a studies course, and thus it is harder to make fun of. That does not mean there are not interesting moments in the class, because some religious beliefs can be... Well here's a example. This came from an Anglican Priest in 18th Cetury Virginia. At that time planters were worried that perhaps if their slaves converted, and became good Christians, the slaves might earn rights. The pastor knew which of the two groups of Christians paid his salary, and he thus addressed the issue with the following religious ruling.

To remove all pretence from the Adult Slaves I shall baptise of their being free upon that account, I have thought to fit to require first their consent to this following declaration You declare in the Presence of god and before this Congregation that you do not ask for the holy baptism out of any design to free yourself from the Duty and Obedience you owe to your Master while you live, but merely for the good of Your Soul and to partake of the Graces and Blessings promised to the members of the Church of Jesus Christ . One of the most Scandalous and common Crimes of our Slaves is their perpetual Changing of Wives and husbands, which occasions great disorders; I also tell them whom I baptise The Christian Religion does not allow the plurality of Wives, nor any changing of them; You promise truly to keep the Wife yo now have till Death dos part you. It has been Customary among them to have their feasts, dances, and meetings on the Lord's Day, that practice is pretty well over in this parish, but not absolutely; I tell them that present themselves to to be admitted to Baptism, they mus promise they'l spend no more the Lord's day in idleness, and if they do, I'l cut them off from the Communion.

Ahh those Anglican Pastors. So empathetic to the needs of their congregation.

However, due to it's rather factual nature, the class itself is less deserving of parody. I might present a funny quote or two, but I will primarily blog about the Pop Culture.

And now for the question of the day, Is Pop Culture, or at least the study of pop culture a science? It certainly claims to be one, but at first glance, this does not seem so. I mean there are no explosion and hardly any mathematics. But even so, it could still be one of those soft, wimpy sciences like Neural Cellular Biology. So let us start at the beginning and keep an open mind.

A rigourous, scientific study of Popular culture is admittedly difficult. Apparently there are laws against locking subjects in rooms and playing 24 hour non-stop Hillary Duff music, while quantitatively monitoring their behavior.

Day 26, the subjects appear to be experiencing extreme agitation. Number 24 tried to strangle my graduate student, when she brought him food. This is the 28 time this week, that he ha displayed such violent tendencies. I intend to study this phenomenon further.

Thus Sociologists once again must take the wimpy way out and conducts surveys and or case histories. This is called Qualitative Research, or BSing. Qualitative Research is not unlike what Dr. Sachs has done. There are of course two differences. Oliver Sachs studied people with postencephalitic parkinsonism, while Pop Culture sociologists study Paris Hilton fans, so they face the additional problem that their research subjects are brain-damaged.

The second problem is more serious. Whereas Oliver Sachs can also do real science, soft and wimpy though it is, I simply do not see how a sociologist can. I must admit that sociologists do have elaborate ways of coping with this bias, (Emic and Etic and all that), and their studies are very thorough, but ultimately I think their research speaks for itself. So we conclude that no matter how much documenting and analysis there is, we still may not have a science. It's a shame, because done properly perhaps this would lead to interesting insights in human nature. Ah well. Done improperly, it as least generates much hilarity.




*This knowledge is all hearsay. I never had the urge to investigate her directly, but I get the impression that any fans of hers are weirdos.

Femininity, Decontruction, and Coconuts: An Explosive Concoction

So let us continue where we left off in the textbook, and from there we will proceed to the class. For once in my life I actually took notes, and I intend to use them, so expect the world. (Yes I might have made a note or two in Diff Eq, but they hardly count.)

We proceed from the basic understanding of pop culture to a didactic analysis of the effects of the feminine revolution on the genre of Mass Culture. Perhaps Didactic is not the right word. Well I don't care, and neither does the author of the cunning pun, Femininity as Mas(s)querade*: A Feminist Approach to Mass Culture. Ha I'll bet you didn't even realize Faminism was popular culture, but didn't Betty Friedan make the Top 40 just last year? Oh, well it must be a masculine conspiracy!
Well, let us proceed back to the footnotes.

•Feminism stands as the vanguard, the first defense against the homogenization of society. It and it alone fight the good fight against the corrosive evil of supermarket tabloids.
•Even Marxism has learned that if it wishes too survive, we need feminism.
•But Marxism doesn't truely belive in Feminism.
•Hmm we already mentioned the importance of Feminism and Marxism, but something is missing.
•Ah yes a gay guy, because naturally gays represent the omnipresent womanly love inherent but DEEPLY hidden in the breathtakingly flawless philosophy of Trotskyism.
•Trosky! Now there's a pop culture icon. When's his CD coming out?

Um the rest of that chapter doesn't really mention Pop Culture at all, but if the Gay-Feminocommmunist Cabal of Evangelical Nightmare really exists, the rest of the chapter is probably its Satanic Scripture.

The next chapter seems to me to be boring and devoid of meaning, but I will point out that the last owner of the book must have been enthralled with it's prose; he highlighted every word.

Chapter Six: Deconstructionism.
•Pop Culture was created by some vast supreme power to permanently disenfranchise the proletariat.
Incidentally the best proof of G-d's existence can be found in the rants of Atheist Communists. They say the world is being run by an all-pervasive Bourgeois Conspiracy, with the goal of the utter destruction of the working class. Religious people call that omnipotent and omniscient force G-d. It's just a matter of perspective.
•Pop Culture is being shaped by this mysterious force.
•The working class only think they are watching a video of half-naked women, but really they are being softened to prevent the, otherwise inevitable, Communist Uprising, may it happen in our days.
•Pop Culture is constantly being manipulated, with yesterday's sex objects being forced aside to make way for today's sex objects.
•All the problems in the world come from the immoral influence of pop culture.
•Things are always in there balance. Every day there is a constant clash between the forces of justice and the evil influence of depraved Pop Culture.
•Hmm. Maybe conservative Christians and liberal Communists really do have common beliefs.
•Um, maybe we're being too extreme (You think!) We should probably backpedal just to be safe.
•Yeah let's muddle the issues a bit. If it's too clear, we won't be able to get tenure.

OK Last chapter.
•Pop Culture is he People's Culture. It symbolizes Liberty and Freedom.
•Or maybe not. Maybe it symbolizes continued oppression.
•At it's roots are the struggles and desires of the working class. But they have been twisted and transformed into junk.
•This isn't a very original chapter, is it?



So there you have it. Pop Culture through the eyes of non-science academics. Academics who need to go outside more. To Hawaii, say. Perhaps Aloha Springs. Just stting there relaxing. Under the shade of a coconut tree... Oh right, sorry. Join us tomorrow when we tell you how to study Pop Culture**.






*Ha Ha. Get it? Mass as in Mass Culture. But if you exclude the 's', you end up with masquerade? Ah those Cwazy Sociologists.
**Hint. It come out the back of a male ox. Oh and it's brown.

Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't. Well now, come to think of it...

Everybody hates going to the dentist, what with the drill and the root canals and the painful shots. Plus the fact that someone has to stick both hands and an assorted array of tools into your mouth. Nothing could be more painful, except maybe dipping your left hand in hot, boiling, wax. Well now thanks to the ingenious Spa industry and ingenuous dental patients, you can have a root canal, while simultaneously having hot wax applied to your hand. Ahh relaxing. Oh G-d. Ow Ow Ow. Relaaaaxing.

But apparently not only do dentists get to perform more of the torture they love so much, it is also good for business, and supposedly makes patients happy. According to one, possibly a masochist, ""It's wonderful. I would recommend it to anyone because it's so relaxing."

Relaxing, huh? Well maybe I was wrong about these spas. Maybe eyebrow waxes and chemical baths are "relaxing", at least to some people. But why have the spa in the dentist? Wouldn't a better medical facility, a better host for the a spa, be one where the only clientele are women? Specifically hormonally crazed women, who are going through a stressful time, and are worried that they are no longer in the shape they once were. There could be a fortune in a career like that. Ah. It appears someone has beaten me to the punch*. Darn! Ah well. Maybe next time.



*With apologies to every woman but the ones who started the stereotype. Actually on second thought, with apologies to them too. Don't kill me.

Friday's post

Friday's post will be produced, right on schedule, some time tomorrow.

We would also like to thank the five people who commented. As for the 65 lurkers who did not comment, we know where you live, though admittedly, not who you are. We urge you all to come out of the closet and post. You'll see. It'll probably be cathartic or something.

Acupuncture. (Hey we haven't used that label in a while.)