Ooops!

Apparently there was some kind of horrible mishap with that last post, but I don't have anything else to blog about, so I'll leave it.

Two posts today?

There may be two posts today. But it is getting late, I have things to do before sundown, and the second post isn't finished yet. Feel free to check by later, but don't get your hopes up.

Building huts

You know what they say: "The huts have to go up. The blog doesn't have to be written." But I say it does, and so I wrote it.

Good News

My brother, "not notElon's brother", actually managed to get the service provider to unlock the DSL. Perhaps he is very persuasive. Or possibly he blackmailed them. I But the important thing is it works, so if a blogpost comes out today, be sure to give him your thanks.

And also thanks to "In no way am I notElon's dad." We couldn't have done it without him. He gave my brother the ride.

Postscript: Actually a blog post just did come out today, this one. So you are forced to thank my brother and father.

Blame Vewizon

I won't swear on it, but blogging will resume tomorrow, once I have more reliable internet access, if I have more reliable internet access.

Post 100

Well actually it's post 101. Because, due to a Blogger error, for a short time Wednesday's post was 100. In America they even had post 100 fireworks in my honor. Though, for some strange reason Britain's celebrations in my honour are scheduled for November 5. Beats me why.

Anyway, next week I have to take two Humanities Classes, to fill my "Electives." Quite honestly, I would rather elect to take Physics or History, but I'm stuck with Humanities. Why do you care? Well a while back I wrote a guest post on another blog, showing my alleged schedule.

At that time, some people expressed interest that I actually take those classes (All the ones but the top 2). That way, I could then blog about those said classes, and everybody could have a good time. Alas for Humanity, feeling that this would involve me spending extra money to have a bad time, I declined and later registered for better classes.

However, all is not lost. I now have to take Humanities classes. I will bring this laptop to class, and appear to take careful notes. And I will... sort of. What I really will be doing is recording the Cold Hard Facts, so that we can all enjoy the Professor's wisdom. Then, when the test comes, I can reread my own blog, reflect on all that I have learned, and get a good grade. Meanwhile you can all follow along with the curriculum and comment on the interconnectedness between Humanities, trash cans, and low paying jobs.

There is just one snag. Security. Anything written on a blog could be read by any computer user. And if I actually write about things that are "not" true, someone could potentially get offended, and I could potentially get harmed. As long as I am writing about Humanities, most people won't care one way or the other. Jeering at humanities won't offend anyone who I wouldn't offend in about 15 seconds anyway. But there is ONE person who does matter. If the professor of those classes happens to read this, I could get in serious trouble. It probably is not illegal to blog about coursework, but it might reflect badly in "Class Participation." Now odds are the professor will not read the blog just because it is mine. I seriously doubt a humanities professor would enjoy my style of writing. He might stumble on it by accident, and we must therefore take precautions. At this point, if he googles my name, we're dead. I can't do anything about that. But we can at least ensure that if he googles his own name or the name of the class, this blog will NOT show up in the search results. I won't mention the professor nor will I mention the classes the way they appear in the course catalog. People commenting should do the same. That way, as long as he doesn't google "Ghost of Jamesburg", we're good to go.

So tune in next Monday for the first dose of the Studies of American Popular Culture and Religion.

Friday's post

Friday's post will be produced, right on schedule, some time tomorrow.

We would also like to thank the five people who commented. As for the 65 lurkers who did not comment, we know where you live, though admittedly, not who you are. We urge you all to come out of the closet and post. You'll see. It'll probably be cathartic or something.

Acupuncture. (Hey we haven't used that label in a while.)

Who even reads this blog?

I can guess, but I really have no idea, and your insightful comments are not so much help. Post 100 is coming up, why don't you drop by and say hi.

And we still have no winners for any of our contests.

Sorry About That

We apologize for three spa related posts in a row. We hope no feelings were injured. Hopefully non-spa related posting can resume tomorrow when I return to the right state of my mind.

Sorry

Sorry about the lack of posting. I thought it would be easier to write posts now that I have free time. But in fact, I have found that the more important the stuff I should be doing is, the more time I have to work on the blog. But at last, a new post (or even several) is in the works.

Today's Post

It's gonna be totally awesome, except I haven't quite written it yet. Stay Tuned!

Book Deal?

Recently I was talking to one of my friends, and he mentioned he was shocked that I hadn't capitalized on the blog's runaway popularity, in order to make millions off a crummy book that I can trick you all into reading. Oddly enough, the though never occurred to me, but a Cold Hard Facts book, or even better a series of books, does seem like the next logical step.

There's just one small problem. All the bloggers who capitalized their success, primarily had blogs about two things: Sex and Politics. As I told my friend, there just not that big a market among the weirdo and the math-obsessed. But he observed that's why I'm the perfect person to write one, because I am full of both sex and politics. We could combine both into one book, and have ourselves a best-seller.

He was right of course. I mean everybody knows, Edgar Greenberg the life of every party, both political and drinking. Every night I go off to the bar with my friends to discuss the latest hot issue, and every morning I wake up in a dumpster with no memory, but confident that I must have torn up the place. The longer, the louder, the better, that's my motto on parties. I drink so much, I have cirrhosis at 20.Don't you want to read about how I'm wasting my life, Houghton-Mifflen? And of course my reputation with the ladies speaks for itself.* Rumor has it, that I once had 20 girls fling themselves at me in one night*. Nope, I'm certainly not a boring, straight-laced, moral, upright kind of guy. Not at all.

So yeah, I think my book would be perfect. Now all I have to do is find a publisher. I was thinking Scholastic. I mean The Cold Hard Facts on Girls and Graft: My Life: Part One would be the perfect addition to that spam you send out to fifth graders. It would certainly make a name for itself with the teachers.













*It says loser, but it speaks loud and clear. Oh and Random House, just uh ignore these footnotes. They're uh none of your business.
*Well rumor has it now, anyway.

And you thought I wouldn't post today!

You were right.

New Post in the works.

A new post will come out some time tomorrow, but the topic is so incredibly weird, I need more time to research it.

Post Labels

Someone recently remarked that due to the scope of this blog, it sometimes is difficult to obtain the Cold Hard Facts of the required subject matter. We sympathize with these concerns, and we thus proudly introduce our new Logical organizational labeling system.

1) All new posts of blog information will be affixed with the label "Donald Trump".
2) All posts will some truth in them will be labeled "breadsticks", unless another rule would say otherwise.
3) If the conditions for rule 1 and for rule 2 are both satisfied, the Post will be labeled "Donald Trump", but not "breadsticks".
4) If the conditions for rule 1 and for rule 2 are both satisfied, and thus the conditions for rule 3 are also satisfied, but there is also falsehood in the post, the "Warning" label will be affixed, in warning
4) If acupuncture is mentioned even in passing, the dog doo label is applicable.
5) If a reference is made to a label, the post will be labeled with the "label" label.
6) Any post referencing astrology will be labeled "Fresh Kills," unless Jupiter is in the fifth house.
8) Jupiter is assumed not to live in houses.
9) Any post which does not contain the words "Cold hard Facts," will be labeled "Cold Hard Facts."
10) Any post which would not merit any label whatsoever merits the sympathy label, "Oil of Violets."

Technical Difficulties

Due to lack of internet connection at my residence, last Friday's, Today's, and possibly Wednesday's posts will be delayed. For once, I have an excuse.